VIFON Corp. "Phnom Penh Style"

Vietnam

Price: $.89

Four and a half stars


Coming at you live from the VIFON Food Corporation (Vietnam) through your local Pan-Asian instant noodle bowl dealer is THE BEST FUCKING INSTANT NOODLE BOWL. It brings the mega spice to your mouth-place.

"Phnom Penh Style " is the only description given(yes, Phnom Penh is in Cambodia not Vietnam. There are Philly Cheese Steak places in Oregon, too). The "Voeng's cousin in Siem Riep has a printer" quality shot of shrimp and beef and sprouts on the label is a pipe dream. And yet from the second I slurp, and sip my punch, I'm fuckin in mosquito nets slurping. Vivid taste enhancers rail slide down dried husks of shrimp, little particles of garlic soaked in palm oil spring in the druggy ether, and dangerous red lights dance above tasty leeks. The energy in here is moped-buggy smoke above sizzling shallots glistening: without a doubt, the living noodle bowl of authentic Cambodian night life is here. When you slup this pho', noodles and broth bang like car doors in parking lots, son. Add Marlboro smoke. Every bite is that sexy.
I love the tangy, perverted and ever-so-dis-attached- from-reality sugar rush native to the supermarket fruit juice cocktail; it makes a wild and contrasting accompaniment to the vicious deliciousness of these street-savvy rice noodles.


I sip: " I could take one down in no time, before laying down 3 or 4 of Monivong's most hard-handed whore-mothers."